Monday, May 31, 2010

Queer Theory?

I've been remiss in my blogging. I do have a very good reason, though. I am taking two classes while working thirty hours a week at the admissions office. One of the classes is only five weeks long. It is about Queer Theory. I have class four days a week, and every night I come home, eat, make a massive mug of black tea so that I can spend the next two hours wading through Foucault, Judith Butler, and other deeply challenging theorists. Then, I get up the next morning and go to work.

Not today, though. Today I have one blissful day off. I'll spend most of the afternoon reading, but that's okay. I'm happy not to be reading Queer Theory late at night for a change. This class is like a bucket of ice water over the head after the almost non-existent academics in London. I like to think that it "hurts so good." It's fascinating and eye opening. It's also beating my brain to a pulp.

The campus is so quiet over the summer. It feels strange. Occasionally I get flashes of memory from my time abroad, and I think, "Did that really happen?" It feels like a dream now that I'm back to my life as it was. Only, my life isn't quite as it was because things have changed, I've changed... Some days I miss London so much. Other days I am beyond content right here.

I'm just holding out for the end of my five week class. Life will become easier then, as I'll be down to just my film class (which is the awesome... watching movies is the best kind of homework). By that time I will also finally have my sweetie back. He's still in Germany, toiling away to get ready for his big, scary finals. I'm so ready to have him back here with me instead.

So, that's that. I've decided to start doing yoga to keep myself calm in the midst of these classes. And, for all the hard work I'm putting in, at least I got lucky with my apartment mates this summer. I love them.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Transitions: Take Two

Talk about transitions. I landed in the US about a week ago, barely escaping the second round of airport shutdowns in Europe thanks to the ash cloud. I spent 10 hours on a plane and then spent the night in Philadelphia before getting up to fly home, but I made it back. It was worth the extra week I spent there with my grandmother. I had a week at home to get over my jet lag, and now I am back at school for summer classes and job. It all starts tomorrow at 8am.

I don't know what to say. I've actually been avoiding my blog because I'm too overwhelmed to write, and there are some things I just can't write about here. I am trying to keep calm and carry on, to know that I can handle the next few weeks, that I can do anything. I can handle these classes, I've done it before. I can handle a new job, because this time I'm not even dealing with cultural differences. I can handle another four weeks of separation from my beloved, we've done that before too.

I will say this: as disoriented as I feel right now, it is good to be back at my familiar little college. I missed it.