Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Remember

I can hear an owl hooting somewhere in the dark woods outside my window... I have not heard him for a long time. He is accompanied tonight by a host of night sounds - all the nighttime creatures are awake and on the prowl. I can hear crickets chirping away to each other in the grass, another sound not heard in many months... The owl is my favorite, though. That otherworldly sound he makes always catches my ear and my imagination. His cry captures the mystery of night.

I cannot wait for long, warm summer nights when cares are put away for later and nothing exists but that moment; the cool tickling grass underfoot and the stars wheeling away above... This is what I dream about when I am sitting in a cold classroom, staring out the window and willing my brain to focus on the effects of the bubonic plague and negative linear relationships.

Tonight was a night of time stolen out of my "schedule." I ignored my homework for a short, blissful period. It was worth it. I still feel like I am floating, un-encumbered. Reality will sink back onto my shoulders tomorrow, but that can wait. I am learning, verrrrry slowly, to take things one day at a time.

I have been thinking a little bit more about faith, and what it even means these days with all of our rationality and knowledge (supposed). And I have realized that without some sense of faith, (or trying to reach for a sense of faith,) my fear and self-doubt and sorrow would be absolutely crippling.


so if you wanna burn yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna cut yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna kill yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
call me up before your dead, we can make some plans instead
send me an IM, i'll be your friend

-Kimya Dawson

4 comments:

Bruce Johnson said...

This blog reminded me of a time shortly after I graduated from college in 1983. I had returned to visit a classmate who was tending a horse farm in the wilderness for the summer. It was very remote place and a lunar eclipse was to happen one evening at 2 am in the morning. We decided to wake up and see it, which seemed like a good idea at 9pm, but seemed like at bad idea at 2am. It was early spring and COLD outside at 2am. But we wondered out in the starlight and hiked to the middle of a frozen, open field. There standing amongst the cold mist and twinkling stars the moon shown a blood red. The sounds of the loons and owls were all around us and in that stark beauty, I knew what the world was like when it was new and untainted. That image still haunts me. I am glad I force myself out of bed that night.

Anonymous said...

Those un-encumbered nights make the dreams of the coming summer a little more real.
Rip Nasty

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

wish i had an owl, anywhere, somewhere, off in a tree nearby. i would do anything to invite an owl in to my little makebelieve farm. tonight i have thunder, rain and sparks of light electrifying the black night. you are wise to try to learn now the fine art of taking things one at a time. i struggled forever with that. and now, maybe sometimes, i grasp it......lovely to stop by for a visit.......blessings from the north....