All Bottled Up

Here I am, in front of the computer when I should be tucked up in bed and fast asleep. Sleep eludes me, I'm afraid. I feel like I could cry, not out of sadness, but simply to release some of this emotion that has built up in my chest. I can feel it there, straining against my ribcage, an unnameable mix of emotions that has been layering itself up these past days. In seems as if I can hardly contain all of it, and at this moment I wish that I could temporarily banish every last thought in my head, just for some peace.
Anticipation and excitement are reaching near torturous levels. I feel that I am playing the same waiting game that every child goes through in the weeks before Christmas. At the same time, those emotions are accompanied by the same anxiety one gets when planning for a long trip; do I have everything I need? Have I done everything I need to do before I leave? There is too much to do. I am plagued by a desperate need to see and feel as much of my old life as I can before I have to leave it behind. I want to be with my family, my friends, my sweetheart, even the kids at Tae Kwon Do - I don't even work there anymore, and yet I want another afternoon with them. I don't even know how to fit it all in, I don't want to pass up anything even though I am bone tired. And even though the future is so bright and full of promise, I can't banish the small edge of sorrow that comes with realizing how things have to change, and how quickly time goes.
I am suspended in an odd limbo between old and new and I don't know what to do with myself. I manage periods of distraction but I always come back around to these feeling that have packed themselves into my body. They make me feel overwhelmed and a little helpless because all I can do is wait for things to clear, to settle just a little bit. In the meantime, I try to keep moving. At night, though, when I stop moving, that is when things catch up to me.
I might also add, that on top of all that, (and I am not entirely sure I should admit this here but...) I am so in love I can hardly think straight. And I think, God, summer is so beautiful.

So, that is where I am: tired, overwhelmed and emotionally needy. I did not anticipate this, but perhaps I should have. Any words of wisdom (or a story of a similiar transition or whatever you might have to share) would fall on welcome ears. It might make this post feel like more than just the self-absorbed rantings of an anxious college student.