Oh, God. Spring fever is setting in already. The weather is still cold yet my fever sets in anyway. It feels too early for me to be unfocused, unsettled, and yearning for vacation.
Then again, perhaps it's not. The point remains: my focus and drive dwindles by the day. My brain is just giving out, giving up, rebelling, insisting on watching youtube and knitting all day.
Eh.
Instead I must summon what energy I have and push through. Quizzes, papers, art projects... I know that deep down somewhere I am passionate about these things. I also know that deadlines help a lot with the focus thing if passion won't suffice. My studies are also a distraction from my mixed feeling about summer at home. I have been so homesick this semester, and vacations sounds divine right now. But will I know how to function at home after living on my own?
I feel so scatterbrained. What point was I making again? Or am I just procrastinating?
I hate these posts. They feel so pointless.
Good news: I may very well be living in an apartment just off campus next semester. This makes me happy.
Bad news: I still haven't seen Coraline.
Good News: I have a significant anniversary tomorrow. Years do fly by, don't they?
Bad News: I keep freaking out about the future.
Lets end on good news: The sun rose this morning and will rise again tomorrow morning. And soon, the weather will be warm.
4 comments:
oh my...you are already moving into spring fever. I remember this from last year! We are still deep in February winter mode, but you so give me hope - you are "spring" in my book, in more ways than one.
No use freaking about the future...it will always be there :)
While you are knitting, you are thinking, planning, and dreaming. Keep it up. I love your pointless posts. They take me back in time...
blessings and much love from the Windy City ant.
darling, your weather is warm by comparison...
just remember that spring break is coming soon ;)
Boy, if the sun does not rise tomorrow, you are going to be really, really bummed.......on second thought, we all will be.
a nice poem to compliment your post:
A Gift
Just when you seem to yourself
nothing but a flimsy web
of questions, you are given
the questions of others to hold
in the emptiness of your hands,
songbird eggs that can still hatch
if you keep them warm,
butterflies opening and closing themselves
in your cupped palms, trusting you not to injure
their scintillant fur, their dust.
You are given the questions of others
as if they were answers
to all you ask. Yes, perhaps
this gift is your answer.
~ Denise Levertov ~
(Sands of the Well)
aunt deeda
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