Wallowing

Oh. So, I haven't been over here in an unforgivably long time. I have committed the crime of not writing because I feel so overwhelmed - even though I know that is when I need to write most. Self-discipline has been beyond me, and when I do sit down to write nothing comes out right! Summer has been far from "a breeze." Work has been exhausting and all consuming, yet it still leaves me enough time to worry about the other things I should be doing. I have relatives I want to visit, places I'd like to go, and yet the thought of taking time off work makes my insides freeze up with anxiety. I really need the money. Something I have to keep reminding myself of when I am tired and irritated and desperate to spend more than three consecutive hours with my sweetheart. I am tired of snatching an hour here and an hour there with him after work in a coffee shop or in the middle of a party. I am tired of feeling like I'm hardly even seeing my family because we're all so busy. I am tired of feeling sick and put upon by my co-workers. I am already tired of dealing with large groups of children.

I just keep swimming around in my own negativity. I can't seem to snap out of it, so I am wallowing and waiting around for either
1) things to get better
or
2) for my own perspective to shift.

I am hoping both happen, and soon.

p.s. Homemade cherry pie = love. Happy Dad's day.