It's funny how the pace of life just sweeps me up, and I hardly notice the days pass. Occasionally, it does surprise me when I look at the clock and realize the day is near over. Depending on the day, that can cause a little panic because everything seems to take longer than anticipated, doesn't it? There is just no enough time to get it all done.
They (you know, them) always tell you to "get involved" at college. I've made a few stabs at serious extra-curriculars, but nothing seems to work out. I now wonder if it's such a problem that, after I've poured so much energy into my classwork, I just want to chill out.
I hate having to say hard things to people. Hard things to me count as things that I think might disappoint the other person. I just want everyone to be happy... even though honesty is ultimately a better policy. Honest to others, honest to myself. Honest about what makes me spark, what makes me happy, what makes me feel passionate and excited. It might be completely weird that I'm excited by learning rhetoric, or reading British Literature, or all those other things. But I am thinking that those things should come first. It's just difficult in practice to put what I want above what others might ask of me. And that is not even getting into how much I worry about what other people think of me. (Yikes.) What surprises me most, though, is when people see things in me that I don't always see. Like beauty, for instance. Or smarts. Or strength. That discrepancy is occasionally thrown in my face, and it still confuses me. (Note: I am not compliment fishing. I really think that everyone experiences some form of this feeling...)
So. Looking back on all that, I'm not sure that any of it made sense. My thoughts are more than a little scattered. However, there they are. I have nothing better at the moment. Except this: go read some Edmund Burke out loud to your friends. It will have everyone laughing out loud. Trust me.
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