Saturday, January 30, 2010

Feeling Blue

So. I suppose that the happy glow wears off of everything after a while. I think my honeymoon phase is over - I'm not too worried, because I am sure that my initial infatuation with London will develop into a deeper and more committed relationship. The last week has been very rocky, though, and mostly thanks to my living situation. London as a whole, the people who live here, do not bother me. Living in a tiny flat with 20 other people, having no privacy, dirty dishes, and a water heater that breaks every two days bothers me. Add in some academic trials (teachers: don't be vague about the assignments and then slam me for something trivial), and the explosion of stress that occurred in my room the other night and you've got one rough week for all of us.

I am trying hard to stay positive - I am grateful for my sweet roomies, and grateful that I get to have brunch with some (kind of distant) family that I have here in London tomorrow morning.

But I am also still really grumpy and firmly in a funk. A big, dark, irritable, gloomy, depressed, weepy funk. I guess I just need to wait it out.

I want to go to the countryside where things are quiet and there are wide open spaces.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't worry....the next chapter will be better.
aunt deeda

Anonymous said...

I think I remember from Mo's journey that what you are experiencing is well within the expected path of studying overseas. Time off by yourself might help, especially in the park or a loved museum. My biggest quiet landscape for retreat is my morning meditation time....it has become such grounding. I like your analogy of "infatuation" because I think London will be a long term relationship. You have "married" into a very big noisy family in that student flat...and everyone is probably struggling with the same issues - except a few who are probably too self involved to be aware of all the nuances of the experience. Those are the ones who add the additional stress sometimes. Anyway...the moments pass. I sometimes use theater as a way of dealing with drama-rama....I pretend I am in the front row watching a play. I don't have to be on stage, I am not the stage manager, director, playwrite, costumer or anything....I can head to the lobby for a glass of wine or cup of coffee and discuss the action with another audience member. So sit back, laugh, wonder and enjoy....or leave for a bit. Can't wait to see you!!!! Chicago Ant

Anonymous said...

Aww I hope you feel better! I think you should sit back and go to the park by yourself for a bit, to d-stress and all. And, maybe you can take a trip out to the countryside with your friends and have a picnic. :) Also, ask your teachers if you have questions, I'm sure they'll understand! :) Keep your chin up. I miss you!

Anonymous said...

ahhhhhhhhhh
you have a wise aunt in Joanie...

aunt deeda

Bruce Johnson said...

funk. A big, dark, irritable, gloomy, depressed, weepy kind of funk..........I think this is standard for the British Isles in the winter.