So, that's that.

That is that. 2009. Done. Caput. Over.

Usually I write a lengthy retrospective on the past year, a tally of all that has happened... I am having trouble thinking about the past this year, though. I have been so intensely focused on the future that it is difficult to think in detail about 2009. I suppose I will write down a few generalities and then keep focusing on the future.

2009 was difficult. Academically, certainly. Emotionally too. I consider that a good thing, though. I think I have been slowly learning to take things in stride more, to ride out difficulties, to be more patient. Maturity is a big word, but I think I managed to gain some this year, kicking and screaming all the way... I've seen it happen to some of my closest friends too. Maybe that is part of college; watching each other grow. 2009 was rewarding. My relationships have been rewarding, my classes have been rewarding. I am not the writer or the thinker I used to be. I think, if anything, I have gained more conviction and confidence that I had before.

Courage and conviction. This is what I wish for all of us heading into 2010. I know that my difficulties pale in comparison to some. I see that we are all struggling for something, for someone, for some reason. I hope we know when to lean on one another, when to be grateful, when to be patient.

I am trying to see past my anxiety to just be grateful for the grand adventure that is in front of me. It is not easy during the stage of packing and anticipation; of scared and excited imaginings. I am envisioning afternoons in museums, walks in Hyde Park, visits to The Globe. I am also envisioning more stressful things, but I'm trying not think about that, as it is a waste of energy. At any rate, I can't wait to document it here for you all. I am grateful, and ready (mostly) to set off on my own. I am grateful that my loved ones love me enough to let me go (although it does sound like I may have a number of visitors!).

Best wishes for the new year.